I grunted as I tried to fit the double stroller through the store entrance. “Will that fit?!” a bystander asked me, and I resisted the urge to grunt something cranky in retort. “We’ll find out!” was my response instead, and I engineered a k-turn into the narrow store door.
It was easy maneuvering our European stroller around the larger American sidewalks and streets, but attaching a second one to the frame made it a bit more complicated.
Walking to get groceries was one of the ways we were attempting to preserve our previous “norm”. After three years in Paris, we had learned many new “normals”, and some of them felt too precious to leave behind when we moved back to the US. It may seem strange that walking to the grocery store and shoving produce and goods into the bottom of the stroller was one of these – but it felt comforting and familiar.
There were a few habits we continued since making our international move. Many were small and likely seemed insignificant to others, but they represented ways in which living in Paris had imprinted on our hearts. After all, our family had begun in Paris, with both our babies being born there.
Outfitting Ourselves
We continued to dress our children like mini-adults, as the French do – though I now knew I was permanently relieved from judgement if my children were in sweatpants and mismatched t-shirts.
As adults, we still felt too strange to dress in athleisure, which was ironic as I had previously envisioned this cultural norm as a beloved break from the formal dress of the French. Instead, I found myself changing out of my leggings and oversized long-sleeve into jeans and a nice top before setting foot into the real world; athleisure now felt foreign.
Food, Oh The Food
I nearly cried when we discovered an international food section in our beloved West Side Market. It had Bonne Maman food items, such as jams and treats, and salted butter which came close to our French version. We found French sea salt, which we fell in love with during some of our last months in France, and we sprinkled it on everything.
Our food standards had permanently changed, which was simultaneously a positive and an inconvenience. We had new expectations now; the produce from the last three years of life were so flavorful that we knew we had to stick to local, in-season fruits and vegs as much as possible in the US. We couldn’t afford to buy fresh baguettes from the local bakery here every day like we did in Paris ($5 a baguette vs. $1), but our family learned to make fresh bread.
We also learned that the quality of ingredients made more difference than the cooking methods or seasoning we used on a dish, and this inspired a new, simpler way of cooking. When living in the US previously, I used to coat everything with spices and flavors. While this works for some dishes, it no longer felt necessary.
Choosing to Drive Less
We are a one-car household, but there are still plenty of days which the car sits in the driveway, waiting to be needed. While the weather has been mild, I’ve been toting the kids around in the bike, or we walk where we need to go. My husband almost exclusively takes the bus to get downtown for work. Using public transportation feels normal and sensible; on the days I choose to pop the kids into the car to get somewhere bikeable, I regret it.
During the infrequent times we need a larger grocery haul, our children enjoy the novelty of sitting in grocery carts, we drive, and we make sure there is a 2:2 ratio of children and adults!
Finding Our Rhythm
We’re still working through the emotions of leaving Paris. The friends and family members who visited us “get” it. They’ve seen the way we lived in the past, they’ve tasted the food, and many of them even used the healthcare systems.
We moved away just before the Paris Olympics, and while we support the athletes and adore the Olympics, we found watching it too painful. It was a reminder that our other home was now left behind, in the past.
Our new home, a blank canvas with more house than we’ve ever lived in, seems to be extending an invitation to decorate. Its ceilings beckon for crown molding, the hallways request ornate mirrors, and the walls invite Paris artworks. At the same time, the home already stands fully finished as it is, complete with old home charm.
Making it our home will be a balance of interweaving our previous life and our new one… and if that’s not the best metaphor for our current lives, I don’t know what is!
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